In a society where everyone may be concealing their genuine feelings, we either romanticize others and believe the superficial nature of our interactions, or we confront the truth about the camouflaged reality we are exposed to on a regular basis.
The wall we frequently hear about that sits in front of others or even ourselves is real.
We’ve gotten so used to operating with semi-true words which appear truthful that we may have started believing them.
We understandably trust the nature of our world because we have lived in it for so long.
We stop doubting the veracity of what we see and hear since it is a natural evolution of our surroundings.
I was having a chat with someone the other day and found myself wanting to say what they wanted to hear, rather than what I wanted to say.
It was tempting to remain hidden in order to feel safe from being criticized or misunderstood.
But I knew that wasn’t where I lived anymore.
I couldn’t do this to myself.
I had to convey my opinions on a vital issue, even if it made me look like the ‘bad guy.’
Sugarcoating a conversation with someone by complimenting them is a knee-jerk reaction to the fear of being perceived as an antagonist.
When we are continuously adjusting our reality to avoid external judgment, we endure an invisible loss of self.
But it is important to protect yourself from modifications caused by external reinforcements.
Any changes to who we are should always be about the appropriate kind of evolution, which is about growing rather than adapting.
And, of course, speaking your mind in public, whether among family, friends, or in your social and professional circles, is perilous.
However, the risk of losing oneself outweighs the risk of losing another person as a result of actual misalignment.
Being misaligned with oneself is far more terrible than misalignment with others.
I sincerely hope you think about this today.
My new book is on the Invisible Loss of the Self, and when we lose touch with our inner nature, it feels as if we lose so much more than our values.
We lose respect for ourselves.
We lose confidence in ourselves.
We lose faith in our ability to do right by us.
We cannot afford such a significant loss, because then, we are left with nothing.
I am still embroiled in these lessons and experiences where I am torn between being true to myself and sheltering that self from judgment.
I may not win all of these internal and external truth battles, but as long as I win some, I am on the right track.
Today, if you find yourself in a conversation ready to deny your own truth, I hope you will pause and reconsider.
With love,
Christina
My new book Invisible Loss arrives everywhere in just a few days. I am nervous of course, but excited for all of you to have it in your hands. If you haven’t ordered yet, you can here.
