“Do whatever you have to, to get through the pain after I am gone.” my husband said to me a few months before he died.

“Whatever it takes.” he said.

“It doesn’t matter what it is you have to do, if it makes you feel better then do it.”

I didn’t always follow his advice but it did help me feel less guilt when my choices after loss were not perfect.

When we lose someone we love, it hurts like hell.

And I don’t know how he knew to tell me this then.

But the pain is so unbearable that we have to do whatever it takes to get through it.

You will make decisions you will regret.

And you will say and do things that you wish you hadn’t.

So what?

When your person vanishes from your existence and your heart is crushed, you have to do whatever you need, to keep on standing. (Click Here to Tweet!)

Don’t be ashamed.

You are still good.

You are just hurting badly.

So I am going to give you a few examples of my “whatever it took.”

And then I want to hear yours.

We will use WIT for short.

Ok here we go.

Some of my WITs:

-I went out on a few dates with someone I didn’t see a future with after he died, but he kept me company on the phone and asked me how my day was.

-I had a few too many glasses of wine the year following his loss.

-I spent more money that I should have on things I didn’t need.

-I didn’t eat for a year or two. Then I ate everything.

The list is long. But you get the picture.

Now it’s your turn.

What are yours?

Write them down, release them from shame and know that you had to do what you had to do to get through.

I will be doing a big post on this on our Facebook page here so everyone can share their WITs. You are not alone in this.

No shame in doing what you have to, to get through your loss.

With life and so many WITs,

Christina

P.S. Do you have a copy of Second Firsts? If not here is where you can grab yours: https://www.amazon.com/Second-Firsts-Live-Laugh-Again/dp/1401940838/