“The intention should not be to go and look for love after loss, but to seek to bring yourself back to life.”

– Christina Rasmussen

The Reentry Lipstick

Today I don’t want to talk about the Holidays. Everyone else is talking about it. So I won’t do that. People like us have a different timetable when it comes to the holidays. We don't really want them to be here and we behave in ways others don't during it. I would rather focus on our new life and identity than the Christmas tree. So...as I was driving yesterday back from my hiking I stopped at a…

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Sing Along with Frank

“Well, Marianne, it’s come to this time when we are really so old and our bodies are falling apart and I think I will follow you very soon. Know that I am so close behind you that if you stretch out your hand, I think you reach mine...” wrote Canadian wordsmith Leonard Cohen in the New Yorker this week about his failing health and the love of his life passing away. I am so close behind you...that…

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Close Your Eyes

Close Your Eyes

As I am getting ready to write my next book I am immersed into hundreds of books searching for timeless wisdom, wisdom that matches my perception of grief. The ability to allow a view of grief that shows you the real experience of loss. What is the real experience of loss? Where does this very intense pain come from? The pain of loss comes from a timeless place where you have known the person you…

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Let Go of the People Who Make You Feel Hard to Love

So, here’s the deal. You should no longer have anyone in your life that you feel like you have to make them like you. That every time you see them you have to work so hard to look good, say the right words and keep up with their journey. If you do have people like this in your life, stop right now. These people you feel you have to impress are not supposed to be in your life. You should not feel…

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You Need to Learn How to Trust Yourself Again

I don’t know how I know this … but I know it. I know you have this strength inside of you to overcome anything. You have this tiny life force within, that is waiting for you to become aware of it and say yes to the outward tiny spark of life. To hold on to it for as long as you can each time you come across it. You have more life in you than you realize after loss. More than you can ever know…

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The Things I Wish I Could Have Told Myself After He Died

When I look back at myself and remember my fears after my loss, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself a few things. You see, something happens to us after loss, and we have very little visibility of our true thoughts. And little to no visibility of our dreams and desires. The real ones anyway. I had great visibility of my fears. My fears woke me up, and put me to bed every single day for…

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Respect Your Sunrises and Sunsets

What are we really all so afraid of? I don’t know anymore. And I am not talking about monsters, wild animals, or even grief. I am talking about the voice in our head that keeps us inside a concrete box every day. Without adventures. Without risks. Without even our real selves. Without new experiences. We keep hypnotically repeating what we did the day before. And this includes me as well. I fall…

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Every Loss Is Significant

Grief is so competitive. When I first started doing this work and started to share my own losses the people with ‘bigger’ tragedies than mine would send me a lot of hate mail. As if I should not be trying to help them. As if I should not be teaching them how their brain could help them come back to life. That I should be ashamed of the fact that I truly believed they could benefit from me. The…

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You Don’t Need to Do It All on Your Own

Up until very recently I was proud of my strength. I thought it was my best trait. I believed it was the reason I survived the tragedies of my life. I was strong. And I was proud of it. But…during a recent business trip someone said something that made me stop in my tracks. “Christina, your strength is your achilles heel.” I knew in that moment that this person was right. He was so right. I had…

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What It Means to Love Again After Loss

Nobody said anything about having to learn to love again after loss. And I mean really learn it again. Attempting to love again the way we used to before loss will never work. So, here is my attempt to articulate what it feels like to love again after you have been devastatingly heart broken. As you know I very rarely talk about romantic love after loss. The work that I am here to do has to do…

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