The Grief Cleanse


In a room filled with family and friends, I felt so alone.  Actually, I felt completely invisible. For me to not only be aware and then to actually articulate this feeling is such a big step in my grief journey.  I have experienced anticipatory grief for months leading up to this day.  I knew this…

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My Evening With A Wolf Spider


You know when your life changes forever, at least for me, the only thing I could think about was, “what am I going to do without my husband?” I couldn’t think much further than that. I was in a type of shock that I had never experienced before. I felt like I was in an endless fog that would never…

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Rooted and Gentle Sadness


Here I am, all these years since you died on that heart wrenching spring day, and I miss you. Though the ache is less potent, I have a rooted and gentle sadness. I’m so grateful that our lives came together by the shores of Saddleback Lake, that you had the patience to wait for me to understand…

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The Ladybird On Your Hand


I was on the train last night going in to the city to celebrate my friend’s new book, and the ride felt unnaturally long. It was as if we were traveling thousands of miles. I have been on that train many times. The 30 minutes go by so fast normally, but not last night. It was almost as if I had…

Read More

The Grief Cleanse


In a room filled with family and friends, I felt so alone.  Actually, I felt completely invisible. For me to not only be aware and then to actually articulate this feeling is such a big step in my grief journey.  I have experienced anticipatory grief for months leading up to this day.  I knew this…

1 Comment19 Minutes

Read More

My Evening With A Wolf Spider


You know when your life changes forever, at least for me, the only thing I could think about was, “what am I going to do without my husband?” I couldn’t think much further than that. I was in a type of shock that I had never experienced before. I felt like I was in an endless fog that would never…

0 Comments7 Minutes

Read More

Rooted and Gentle Sadness


Here I am, all these years since you died on that heart wrenching spring day, and I miss you. Though the ache is less potent, I have a rooted and gentle sadness. I’m so grateful that our lives came together by the shores of Saddleback Lake, that you had the patience to wait for me to understand…

0 Comments2 Minutes

Read More

The Ladybird On Your Hand


I was on the train last night going in to the city to celebrate my friend’s new book, and the ride felt unnaturally long. It was as if we were traveling thousands of miles. I have been on that train many times. The 30 minutes go by so fast normally, but not last night. It was almost as if I had…

1 Comment3 Minutes

Read More