Once upon a time, a day came that took everything from you.
And you crumbled at the nothingness.
And you stepped inside of it looking to find something, anything to hold on to.
But there was nothing.
Nowhere to even put your knees on, so you could kneel and pray.
You searched where you thought the floor should be, but even that was taken from you.
Then you did the only thing you knew how to do, you closed your eyes and prayed inside the nothingness.
With your eyes closed you leaned against the empty space, and kneeled without a floor.
You were consoled by an invisible presence.
Comforted by a voice without words.
Waltzing inside your tears.
Casting a spell of hope.
Healing within the walls of nothing.
You tried to assemble yourself.
Learning to live there.
Training your body to find something in the emptiness of it all.
The hardest class you ever had to take.
The word grief was useless.
It didn’t even come close to the floorless life.
The prickling presence of the darkness.
It had nothing to tell you when you couldn’t even get up from your prayer.
You were being hunted by a feeling that had no name.
You were being snatched by the hole of loss where there were no saviors.
Nobody could come and find you inside your heart.
Where you were being destroyed by the knowing of what had been taken from you.
And the worst of it was, that nobody could see your pain.
Glimpse at your nothingness. At your destroyer.
That’s the thing with pain, it’s invisible.
It’s not their fault. (Click to tweet!)
They call it grief because they can’t see what the thing that breaks your heart is.
But tell them.
Tell them.
There will come a time when you will survive the chaos that can never be seen unless it belongs to others too.
Unless you too are inside the nothingness, you can never know it.
And then, because you learned to spot it in others you get to waltz inside their floorless life. Speak to them when they are kneeling on nothing.
Didn’t you know?
The comforting voice by the invisible presence was YOURS.
It has always been yours.
With so much experience in the nothingness,
Christina
P.S. 4 Days left, class begins Tuesday evening. Register here: https://christinarasmussen.com/life-reentry-invisible-loss/
