Sometimes I wish I could go back
to the beach,
laughing like drunk fools
getting lost in your eyes
holding each other as if we were immortal
like the sea always is
mimicking the waves,
buzzing with love,
mesmerized with each other.
The sunset flaming over us,
luminous with gold radiant fever
against our young skin.
Stepping on the sand,
mingling with the earth and loving, just loving
that moment
you were here
breathing the same air, living all there is to live
without thinking of the end.
And now the sea is empty of you,
unplugged from us
without the breath that brought us together.
But with lastingness
that puts a spell on our heart
extending
the moment that was…
into infinity.
With love,
Christina
P.S. Now is your turn to write a poem that describes your grief and your life after. And if you like you can post your entries below in the comments area.
Can’t wait to read your creations.
Image courtesy of Barn Images via Unsplash.com
Beautiful poem, i’m not a poet but…..
Two separate hearts became one
Beating together for 40 years
Through thick and thin times
Through happy and sad times
Always together, never separate
Now one remains
Still beating
Still beating for two
Well written Jeff and I can relate, and you are a poet.
Change the number of years and you are writing about how I feel. Well done.
Only
The only way to heal seems to be through travel
Only then do I find happiness again.
Even though when I arrive to a new destination, my thoughts always lead to you.
I wish you could see the places I go to forget hurting.
Only you would know.
I stare at shorelines, at the ocean, at mountain tops, at villa’s.
I people watch, I listen to new sounds, I eat new foods. I fill my travel moments with new memories to have, but it’s only you that I wish for.
I know you are with me, and watching over my shoulder but it’s only you that I”m trying to make peace with.
Beautiful words just how I am trying to survive with lots of travel, I believe my beautiful husband of 39 yrs is with me seeing all the adventures as I do. Jenny
UNCAGED
From a wish
Not of the written word
To the wings
That thunder after flashes of light
From a breath
Where there are no words to bind my life
To a candle’s flame
And the unlimited sways
That flicker like sudden death
Traveling beyond the black and white
Smoke trails
Melting as the sea and river run wild
Transcending
In a world uncaged by possession
As it dissipates
Independence rises beyond limitation
Into the atmosphere
Existence is liquid
Choked with newborn hope
Temperatures ascend
Fahrenheit free
And the one who wishes captivity
Is clouded by
A soul filled with hope
That cannot be numbered or gaged
Dripping from the page
Without lines
Into a pool
Of spiritual
Liberation
theterrytree.com
If you have lost a loved one,
it is unlikely you will ever fill that hole.
But you can still grow, and celebrate their life, in all the little things and big things every day.
You can celebrate their life by taking good care of your own, and continue to love life, with compassion and kindness to yourself and others.
Let the beautiful spirit of your lost love lighten your heart, make it the most important reason to live more fully and cherish every minute.
In doing that you will live your life in honor and celebration of your loved one.
I honor my love, who lived and died so gracefully.
I miss you since that morning
I miss you every step of my journey.
I miss you every week, day, hour, second
you’re so close and so far
I miss you to cheer me on, to celebrate, to be the stepping stone that never gave up on mE
Life isn’t far sometimes I used to think
but life knew better what a great man and teacher you were to me
One day we will high five all the lessons
we learned from each other
the great teamwork we became and will for sure celebrate life after death.
until I meet you again.
I Feel You
Today you were here in the dandelion fluff
That almost landed on my arm
Yesterday you were in a Monarc butterfly
Too fast to study your colors
Always touching my senses
Thoughts of you role through me endlessly
In dreams I see your face
I feel you
I heard you in some one elses voice today
You are here and you are not here
Thoughts and pictures are what is left
Whisked away with the wind like dust
I still feel you
I just can’t hold you with my hand
You left me with a piece of you
I can not completely understand
But I try and I listen and I see
and I feel you.
Kristin McDevitt
I Must Wait
You were mine `til
you fell through the
edge of time
Through the night
into the light.
No more need to fuss
and fight.
Feel such sorrow
but some tomorrow,
I will follow.
I will be whole
When at last my soul
sails through the sun
And once again we
will be one
I`ll cry no more
Upon that shore
At Heaven`s gate.
But I must wait
`Til God says when
You and I shall
meet again.
Penniluck McGinnis/Nicolson
My Brother – I miss you
But why did you go?
So hard to believe
Yet it happened – I know…
You were handsome,
successful,
had a beautiful wife
You were witty, intelligent
with a wonderful life
But it all went wrong
and recession took hold
Your wife wanted out
Your life started to fold
So my brave, funny brother
took his own life that day
And my sorrow and pain
will now not go away
I prayed you’d get better
and find joy again
But I guess in the end
You were in too much pain
You will always be
my Big Brother, and I ..
will try to remember
The good times gone by
For the best part of your life
you had such a great time
I could never imagine
this end down the line
Most people reluctant
to talk of you now
and the way that you died
is taboo somehow
But I’ll never forget you
You should have been here
So till we meet up again
I’ll cry a sad tear
Rusted Razor
The cutting memory
Of a lost love
In the teeth of a blade.
True Love
True love goes oft unnoticed,
True love begets no reward
True love happens, ‘tis not planned,
Yet true love cannot be ignored.
True love comforts, true love soothes,
There is no equal on this earth.
Residing in one’s inner soul,
True love refines one’s entire worth.
IN MY HEART
by Stephen T. Fleharty
I’ll never kiss your lips again
Nor touch your soft and tender skin.
Not look into your eyes of blue
Nor whisper secrets just we knew.
I’ll never see your smile so bright
Nor sense your breathing late at night.
Not share the future’s bold frontier
Made with plans we held so dear.
My love for you will endure.
Of that, I am very sure.
And although we are far apart,
Forever is where you’re in my heart.
You had to leave, not wanting to,
Gone to a place that we both knew
Was finer even than this life
Which has times of woe and strife.
The years we spent, I will cherish
Until the day that I, too, perish.
On that day, we’ll start anew
The love that bonded us so true.
My love for you will endure.
Of that, I am very sure.
And although we are far apart,
Forever is where you’re in my heart.
What Now?
Twilight is past and darkness reigns
The mem’ries of light, too, fade.
The future predicts unbridled pain
For me — a masquerade.
Awake, I face fate’s cruel test
Of bearing one more day,
The absence of your loving breast
And your sweet bouquet.
Love is strong, yet can’t deny
The embers that remain
Will fail to soothe my mournful sight,
Which I cannot contain.
My days are spent as one destroyed
And wondering without hope
Of why I cannot fill this void
And why I cannot cope.
‘Til death doth claim me and my soul,
I shall love thee still.
‘Til then, it is my lonesome role
To accept God’s will.
In Due Season~
Waiting is the hardest thing…
Waiting for grief to pass…
Waiting for purpose to be revealed…
Waiting.
In due season, the storms will pass
freeing your mind of expectations
Allowing you to view the world anew
Fresh and vibrant, full of love.
Look around and savor the day.
For time passes much too quickly.
Days and weeks and years are but a moment.
Waiting becomes the purpose for now.
A lovely gift
A season of healing
Revealing, guiding
In due season.
she met a man
who loved her
quietly and completely
he taught her things
she never knew
she needed to learn
and then the man
who loved her
left this world
and in his leaving
gave her courage
to finish
their dreams
My “Alpha Poem” about my grief at the moment
Aching…
Behind my heart.
Counting… the
Days…the months
Ever…
Forever…
Grief.
Helpless, hopeless…
Is how I feel
Joyless fog
Keeps
Loneliness in…
My heart… in my body
Nothingness…
Oh how it hurts.
Pain and
Questions?
Remembering…
Soul mates
Till the end.
Union of hearts.
Vulnerable now.
Wanting now.
Xylophone of lost harmony.
You…will always be remembered…never to be
Zero.
this poem is beautiful Lela…exactly how I feel ♥
Perfect.
Freedom Calls~
Freedom calls and beckons me to join her…
“Life awaits, no more need for tears”.
Mourning cries have emptied their loss upon the ocean’s shore.
The sun rises just the same.
How dare the world continue when this loss has crippled me so?
How dare the beauty of this day remind me that life goes on
when I’m so wounded and afraid?
Freedom calls and beckons me to join her.
“Take my hand, I will lead you…
gentle steps made…
a little everyday.
Trust in me, my darling love.
You aren’t meant to live this way.
Look up and take my hand…
Love will find a way.”
Freedom calls.
WILDERNESS
It used to be so easy, you know.
Moses, parting the Red Sea. Life at your bidding.
Order up another baby, a pergola in the back.
Restore your mood at Ikea.
Life: stackable, cheap, disposable.
Another day, another problem.
Decades of this.
Baby now gone.
Heart in shambles.
Life in full bloom.
Welcome.
*
Sit now, like meditative Buddha
A tug of the heart, all lifted.
Breathing smile. All in, All out.
Indulge. Observe. All softening silt.
How to see clearly, unless obscured?
To rise, unless the fall?
To understand as to be understood?
Embrace such painful decay. This skinning alive.
A Self losing self, most beautiful in the shredding.
Your shroud, now a spiritual artifact.
All Mystery… even to life itself.
My love
You are my heart, my soul, my love and my life!
I’m trying to move on as your wife!
I use to be happy and smile and laugh a lot ! I find it so hard to go on and about!
My tears won’t go away my heart won’t stop hurting! I love and miss you forever and ever! Until we meet again!
I watched you die
Your body was
jaded and slashed by disease but
your life spark still burned
In that grey hospital room
cold rain poured down over
the two of us standing there by
your bed
knowing that your last breath
was imminent
That grey hospital room
that had been buzzing with action all night, now
there was only the hiss of life support
24 hours earlier you
loved me and
your life journey
was victorious and magnificent
You were still magnificent
but your battered body was overriding
your beautiful consciousness
Time was running out
You and time
were slipping through our fingers
there was nothing we could do to
hold you back
Your time had come
and you left us
your wife and your daughter
The two of us who
still have lives to live
but they are lives already scarred by
a son and a brother who went ahead of you
You saw him and
you knew he was waiting for you and
you went to be with him
Now you two have your own time
The agonizing pain of missing you both
keeps driving holes through my heart
My Dear Love,
It’s been nearly 8 months since you took your last breath
I still cry every day…over something…
That reminder…
A song
A picture
A newly found piece of paper with your written notes…
Then, is when the tears just roll freely down my cheeks
But I am doing better, building my new life.
And have many good moments. Many, many more than at first…
I’m learning to embrace our 37 years of memories with gratitude rather than sadness.
I still write you nearly every day, telling you what I’m up to.
And, of course, I will always love you.
Me
Our Talk
Is everything gonna be ok?
will it never be the same
I still think of you everyday
I’ll never forget your name
you touched so many lives
so many levels, so many ways
your the one they cant forget
i know they cant anyways
your unique sense of humor
the antics that you played
put a smile on everyones face
and gave them a brighter day
your warm and thoughtful hugs
your infectious amazing laughs
things we will never forget
as we hold on to our past
your a thought in our future
as you were in our past
still a part daily lives
and that will always last
thank you for the talk
I know you always hear
we’ll speak another time
but next time I’ll hear
I look For You
I look for you in the clouds as they drift by, in the stars at night, on the moon, in the waves, on the horizon, in the shapes of the hills, in the branches, in the fire light, in the shadows. I see patterns of musical notes, a part of your bass, a glimpse of your smile and the sparkle and fire in your beautiful brown eyes when the sun is setting and the sky is ablaze.
I look for you when I’m walking in the park behind our house, through the trees, down the path, by the ball filed, by the two graves that rest in the shade of an old oak tree, on the top of the hill. I almost hear your voice saying “Wilbur” mimicking Mr. Ed complete with warble to Pam’s black pug and see your smiling face greeting familiar faces as you stroll comfortably along.
I look for you when I walk Ms. Honey down the trails at Mary Searight, by the creek, in the shade, by the ravine where we would sit and rest, in the Spanish moss that hangs from old worn trees that reminds me of Louisiana that I call “Robert’s place”, in the butterflies that light on me and effortlessly drift from flower to flower, from breast to breast, that beckon me to follow them around the bend and then disappear or become camouflaged blending into new and old windswept ageless surroundings.
I look for you in my dreams when I finally go to sleep with pillows stacked beside me that have replaced your handsome body where you snuggled beside me on your side of our bed where the comfort of your arms used to hold me tight each night and your gentle touch would ease my fears, your love so satisfying, sincere, revived and so different now lost in the lonesomeness, missing your warm, furry, sweet smelling body that encased your beautiful soul and fit so perfectly with mine.
I look for you in the faces of our beautiful children, inquisitive, intelligent, sensitive, musical, natural, joyful, grateful, loving, busy, healthy, fun-loving, analytical, open minded, spiritual, environmentally sensitive, caring forever blessed from your influence and from our union. Your calm, gentle, kind and patient ways touched family and friends in so many ways. Together we created a home and family that will be forever cherished.
I look for you and I find you deeply entrenched in my heart and I miss you in every way. I look for you in the music you played, in the hearts of the many lives you touched, in our home, on trips, during holidays, special occasions, in old photographs, where you used to lie on the couch. I close my eyes and try to imagine that you are still physically here, holding my hand, looking into my eyes, feeling your constant warmth, feeling your sweet kisses, feeling you melt into me.
I look for you and find you in the love and tenderness we shared and my heart is filled with gratitude, respect and longing. When you told me, ” There is no getting over you”. When you proposed to me. When you told me, “I just want to thank you so much…I just love you so much”. When you said, “You want to be happy, I want you to be happy”. You gave me so much. These gifts I give to you. Wherever your spirit soars I soar with you. I will love you forever and ever my sweet darling. Thank you so much for your amazing love. I just miss you so much.
To my beloved Paul
There is a story in my eyes,
Something that you should not be surprised.
My eyes and my heart have seen to much,
More than I can ever discuss.
I lost so much and there was so much pain.
Again it is more than I can explain.
The hurt is so deep and though I try it is something I will always keep.
I saw your pain, I saw you die, and I asked the gods why.
As I watch you leave me a little everyday, it was me I wanted to go away.
You are my hero, you are my soul, and I could not bear to see you go.
I could not go through what you did, but know one knows as we did.
I saw you see the light when you left, and I know in my heart it was best.
Because of your strength I will honor you, and my life will always be a tribute to you.
And now I’m left to carry on, with a heart that can’t go on.
I try so hard to be strong, and I pray it won’t be long.
To see your face, to touch your skin, to have you back again.
You taught me how to take care of things , but now I’m here and don’t know how to begin.
Without your love, without spirit. I’m just left here all alone, and no place to call my home.
As I sit here and I cry, again I ask the god’s why.
Why did the world take you away, so soon and leave me this way.
I tried
To do what I could to keep us happy.
I failed.
I tried
To live up to who you wanted me to be.
I failed.
You held up a mirror to me and said,
“See that— not even close to good enough.
You failed.”
Now I pay in hard-earned money and
Never-ending regret.
In quicksand now,
Resistance sinks me deeper.
So I must learn to remain still
And be grateful for my current position.
I see the view around me of the forest trees.
Perhaps, one day, I will walk among them,
Hand-in-hand with someone with a new mirror.
I am standing with my toes at the edge of the ocean, feeling an unyielding pull towards the lapping waves. There is great comfort in knowing the force of the waves will take me with them. No decisions to be made. No second guessing. The unwavering certainty of the soliloquy of the water dance a welcome refuge in this relentless storm.
Petrichor
The sky was divided
I stood in the warm pink light of sunset
waiting for the gray cloud blanket to draw nearer
I moved to the shelter of our front porch
and sat in my chair
your chair is there, empty
I remember our habit and anticipation
we, the storm watchers
relishing the display of power
I once told you that I had read
“one should seek shelter indoors during storms”
you and I laughed at the same time
when you said,
“if we were on a canoe trip I guess the tent would work”
We watch the branches bend,
the silent lightning burns bright, we count, one , two, three
the rumble rolls toward us
the wind wrings the clouds
and casts their essence into the dust perfume
again a searing jolt connects to ground, we count, one, two
some leaves lose their grip and never see autumn
we count,
one…
then I look at your empty chair
back in the here and now