She comes into your life always unexpected.

Her footsteps are always so quiet,

as if she is bare footed.

When you see her, you notice her arrogance at first.

Then her beauty.

Oh she is breathtaking.

Her visits are short but so memorable.

But when she shuts the door behind her,

your heart freezes.

You are in shock with how she shook your life.

You are angry.

You pace the room.

You get mad at yourself for letting her in.

Oh how could you?

But she was so invisible.

So quiet in her stride.

You did not know she was coming.

You did not even know her name when you saw her walk in.

You only knew she was called Rejection when you felt the feeling of not being wanted.

When you were turned down when you were least expecting it.

I am sorry but I am not going to sugar coat rejection and tell you not to take personally.

We are human with an ego.

I am too.

When we are in the thick of rejection, the only way to take it is PERSONALLY.

I know you will be told by many self help experts to not take rejection personally.

I am going to admit it right here.

I have always taken rejection personally.

Judge me if you must. But I have to be honest with you.

And let me tell you, I have been rejected thousands of times.

As recently as this last Monday.

But here is what I do with this beauty I call Rejection.

I chase her down the street,

I get a good look at her and transform myself to a beautiful warrior.

My brain has created a pattern for all the Rejections I have met in my life.

Are you ready?

Here it is:

I step outside of my comfort zone.

I ask for what I want.

I get rejected.

I prepare and I go for something bigger and better.

That is when I turn REJECTION into pure FUEL.


You see my dear friend…

I was rejected as a child. Not popular enough.

I was rejected as a TEEN. Far too much acne. (I mean a lot of acne)

I was rejected in college. Not smart enough.

I was rejected by many boyfriends. Not pretty enough.

I was rejected after job interviews. Not perfect enough.

I was rejected after asking for a book endorsement. Not well known enough.



I was rejected hundreds of times with my work on GRIEF. We want you but we 

reject your subject matter. Grief is not wanted. Well you know what I did with 

that rejection.

I can go on and on.  And so can you.

You and I will continue to be rejected.

And the rejections will feel bigger after a broken heart.

But I want you to promise me something.

Promise me you will use my rejection formula.

Get uncomfortable and do the asking.

Get Rejected.


Then Go for more.

Fuel your rejection.

Get back up!

Make a bigger ASK.

I know I am asking for a lot.

I always ask a lot from you.

But I would not ask if I did not know you could do this.

Remember because of your loss you are unstoppable.

Don’t let someone’s inability to love you… stop you.


With a lot of asking,


PS. If this letter has changed your life will you share it with with your world? Here is the link where someone new can subscribe: Message in a bottle

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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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