Second Firsts: Brick Wall

“Throughout the years so often people tell me how well I have done with how much bad luck I had, and then they go on to tell me that I am an inspiration and that is when I think about what Jim Rohn had said a while back,

“We generally change for 1 of 2 reasons: inspiration or desperation.”

So, the truth is that I grabbed life by the horns out of desperation and not out of inspiration.

I was not inspired by anything or anyone to change. I read so many books and yes, maybe I was inspired for a day, but that did not do it.

What did do it was, my rock bottom. Yep.

When I admitted to myself that my life was not that great, regardless of all the well wishers saying, “But Christina, look how well you are doing, you got yourself a great job in the corporate world, you are raising two gorgeous daughters all by yourself, and you are holding your own. You inspire us Christina.”

At first I have got to be honest with you, it felt really good to hear these great words, I was proud that I had not wasted away, and was able to still get up every morning, take care of my kids and earn a living, regardless of the loss I had endured. I even finished my second post graduate degree. I was even telling myself, look how much better you are doing, you went from wanting to die to having a normal life and able to feed your kids all by yourself. If you met me you would never know I had gone through so much!

But I was not telling myself the truth.

I had forgotten the word “THRIVE” and I had replaced it with “SURVIVE.”

I had completely abandoned everything I believed in because as I started climbing up from the darkness and was hit by the first sunlight I did not remember my most important need to thrive. ¬†All I could think about was “let’s get through one more day, climb one more step and maybe there will be some more light coming through. I was not searching for the sun, the moon and the stars. I was just content with the ray that squeezed through the darkness.

Who was I becoming?

Was it really true that I was becoming a survivor?

And that is what did it.

This very question stopped the downhill spiral. I was not to lose the part of me that identified who Christina had always been. I was a thriver. That was a loss I was not willing to go through.

I am telling you this so you remember that part of you that is still living within you. But before you can remind yourself of the thriver that you are, you have to acknowledge your darkness and see your life for what it truly is. If you are just surviving and you know deep down that you are a thriver, then ask yourself this question: Apart from your grief (the No 1 reason for not thriving) is there anything else that is stopping you from going for what you want?

Grief has cousins, aunts and uncles called, “not enough money”, “I am alone”, ” I am too old to start over” and “Nothing good happens to me.”

Do these sound familiar? If they do, try to make some new friends called: “I can do anything I want” and “I have the controls of my life back” and let me know how it goes.

And for those of you who are ready to thrive and can’t wait, the Re-Entry to Life after Loss program has just now become available for instant download. All 6 cds and Action Guide will arrive on your computer in just a few short seconds. Here is the link:

And please don’t forget to ask yourself the above questions and speak your truth, especially to YOU!

With thrive,

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Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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