Last night I didn’t sleep at all.

Not even an hour.

Not even 5 minutes.

Well, maybe I dozed off for a couple of seconds around 4:30am, while navigating my way from Philadelphia to Boston after a cancelled flight.

I tried to remember the last time I stayed awake all night long.

And I couldn’t remember.

Even when my husband was dying and I was right next to him for hours, I would sleep for a few moments and then wake myself up startled.

Even that night I was not without any sleep.

Then I went further back in my life and I still could not find a night without sleep.

I could not find a night where I saw the sunrise, dressed with the clothes of the day before.

Surely I have travelled the globe so many times, there had to be a 24 hour day, but you would find me catching sleep on a window of a plane, on a bus, as a co-passenger in a car.

Last night the goal was not to fall asleep.

I had to stay awake and drive to Boston.

I propped myself up, had coffee and threw some water on my face.

I even sang along with the music on the radio.

My eyes stayed open for 24 hours.

And I didn’t break.

I am still awake, on my final flight to San Francisco writing to you.

Yes tired but inspired.

And you know what, I feel younger.

I know it is so silly to say this.

But so true.

I feel youthful.

I feel funnier.

I laughed harder.

I looked messier.

Messy with life.

I felt like the woman I was in my 20s, where I could have stayed up all night and it would not have been a big deal.

You might wonder why would I write about this.

I just wanted to tell you that youth can come back in the most unexpected ways.

When we realize we won’t break if we do something that physically pushes our limits.

When we get messy and do not worry about the way we look.

When we dare to be silly and funny, and laugh with our own jokes.

When we take an inconvenient situation and make it an adventure.

When we stop taking ourselves so seriously.

We get younger.

I made a promise to myself last night.

That once a month I will do something that will make me feel unbreakable.

Messier.

One day I hope you will forget which chapter you are living, what time it is and whether you need to go to bed or not.

There will be no real time, no real end.

Just a continuous loop of living.

Maybe being on a high altitude overlooking the clouds without sleep makes this Message in a bottle a little unique, but:

Promise me you will choose one day this week to have your 24 hour life in it. (Click to Tweet!)

And I would know that taking a chance to write about this, in the way I did was worth it.

Here’s to your youth.

And to your 24-hour experience!

With no sleep,

Christina

PS. Find this Message in a bottle here and tell me about your 24 hour day. I want to know when you felt younger.

Upcoming Speaking event at Camp Widow on July 11th in San Diego.

My interview with authors Tears and Tequila.

Image courtesy of Caleb George Morris via Unsplash.com

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Christina

Christina

Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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4 Comments

  • Erin McRaven says:

    Yeah, Christina…. That giddy feeling you have? It’s called the silliness from sleep deprivation. LOL

    Yes, I have, more than once, had 24 hour days. Even up into my kid 30’s. Last night I got very LITTLE sleep, but I did get a few winks. 😉 And, yes, it’s like being drunk. Everything is MUCH funner than it usually is!!! Colors seem brighter, food has more taste…. I could give the scientific explanation, but why spoil the buzz, right?

    Oh….lucky you! You were in Boston, where Benedict Cumberbatch and Johnny Depp are making a movie!!! WooHoo!

  • marwa berrefas says:

    Thank you Christina for sharing us your experiences.. i have learned many things from you.. somedays the sleep forget his way to us, and some times we forget how to sleep because our minds still awake and till many questions if we were wrong or the life was verry crual..

  • Beth says:

    I have started playing my flute again and today for the first time in many years, when I played, I felt my heart sing. I thought music was dead a long time ago. And its back. I never thought I would have it back. So anything is possible.

  • Karlene Dunaisky says:

    Oh Christina, you make me smile, think and hope! My “messy let-go-of-it-all” moment was 2 weeks ago. I literally danced in mud puddles with some young friends, in a maxi-dress and white tank at an outdoor music festival(sober)!! It was so much fun! People looked at me like I was completely crazy and it felt wonderful! I’m nearing the end of my 40’s and feel like I am finally coming alive again! Haven’t felt this young in years!! Bonus….the dress came clean!

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